Wednesday, September 9
Somethings amiss
Been in a bit of a rut now for the last week.
Sorta snapped out of it late yesterday - how much it has to do with seeing my psychologist is an unknown. I always feel better after a session. Yesterday Ang came down with me which was a boost. It was weird in a way but also very encouraging. Shows me how much she cares about my well being. Danny went fishing a little bit (to see if I lie about anything) but Ang just told him the truth. Which I do anyway.
Apart from that - I have been trying to figure out what puts me in foul moods. Little things always set me off but there is always something major that is the underlining factor. I think this 'episode' was brought on by my ex's phone call over 3 weeks ago and it has been slowly building to a precipice. Byron wants contact with me. Good and a bad thing.
In the end I'll do whats best for him YET always put my immediate family first. Always.
So its a bit of a prickly pear. Damned if I do and damned if I don't. I sent Byron some photos of his half-sisters and one of me and him together when he came down here in January 2008.
I am still looking for another job. A few days a week would suit us to a tee. During the day as well. Don't care what it is - as long as it puts a few more $$$ into the household. The Baby Bonus ($5000 over 6 month period) runs out mid December. So that is the end date in which I need another job.
Jessica has really come along in leaps and bounds over the last month or so. She throws constant temper tantrums yet is an intelligent little bugger. She absolutely craves learning new things. Always asking to go the school (nearly every day). I took her at 6:45AM yesterday as she was sorta doing my head in. The workers there adore her and I think she gets along well with the other kids. She was bitten last week - but she basically shrugged it all off (the workers thought it was very funny how she looked at the bite, then the kid and didnt even cry).
I woke up this morning to Ang yelling at Jessica and Paige. Jess did a shit on the carpet as she wasn't wearing a nappy. Paige is a little manic at the moment and did not help the situation. Jessica is a real handful in the morning. Very hard when you are doing it all by yourself (be it either myself or Angela).
Until next time...
Sorta snapped out of it late yesterday - how much it has to do with seeing my psychologist is an unknown. I always feel better after a session. Yesterday Ang came down with me which was a boost. It was weird in a way but also very encouraging. Shows me how much she cares about my well being. Danny went fishing a little bit (to see if I lie about anything) but Ang just told him the truth. Which I do anyway.
Apart from that - I have been trying to figure out what puts me in foul moods. Little things always set me off but there is always something major that is the underlining factor. I think this 'episode' was brought on by my ex's phone call over 3 weeks ago and it has been slowly building to a precipice. Byron wants contact with me. Good and a bad thing.
In the end I'll do whats best for him YET always put my immediate family first. Always.
So its a bit of a prickly pear. Damned if I do and damned if I don't. I sent Byron some photos of his half-sisters and one of me and him together when he came down here in January 2008.
I am still looking for another job. A few days a week would suit us to a tee. During the day as well. Don't care what it is - as long as it puts a few more $$$ into the household. The Baby Bonus ($5000 over 6 month period) runs out mid December. So that is the end date in which I need another job.
Jessica has really come along in leaps and bounds over the last month or so. She throws constant temper tantrums yet is an intelligent little bugger. She absolutely craves learning new things. Always asking to go the school (nearly every day). I took her at 6:45AM yesterday as she was sorta doing my head in. The workers there adore her and I think she gets along well with the other kids. She was bitten last week - but she basically shrugged it all off (the workers thought it was very funny how she looked at the bite, then the kid and didnt even cry).
I woke up this morning to Ang yelling at Jessica and Paige. Jess did a shit on the carpet as she wasn't wearing a nappy. Paige is a little manic at the moment and did not help the situation. Jessica is a real handful in the morning. Very hard when you are doing it all by yourself (be it either myself or Angela).
Until next time...
Sunday, September 6
Fathers Day
Nice way to start the day with the Twin screamers going off tap.
Asked boss for more shifts at work as 2 nights (12 hours) just isnt cutting it. He'll let me know.
I have to stop gambling (so much) on the gee gee's. Starting to piss me off. Maybe just picking out 1 and loading up on it rather than spreading my thin money over 4-5 races. That way if my 1 pick salutes I'll get a big collect. Eh.
Jaiden had his 1st night of work yesterday. Went well apparently. He has another shift tonight (4 hours).
My mood is a bit stunted over the last week. Seem to be in a bit of a rut. Dont know what it is.
Bah.
Asked boss for more shifts at work as 2 nights (12 hours) just isnt cutting it. He'll let me know.
I have to stop gambling (so much) on the gee gee's. Starting to piss me off. Maybe just picking out 1 and loading up on it rather than spreading my thin money over 4-5 races. That way if my 1 pick salutes I'll get a big collect. Eh.
Jaiden had his 1st night of work yesterday. Went well apparently. He has another shift tonight (4 hours).
My mood is a bit stunted over the last week. Seem to be in a bit of a rut. Dont know what it is.
Bah.
Friday, September 4
Where did I go ?
Umm. Yeah. Time flies.
Got food poisoning on Sunday night. Me and Ang went out for a nice Buffet meal at a local club. On the Monday we were both poleaxed with FP. I have never suffered this shit - nor do I ever want to again.
Apart from that just the usual stuff happening day in - day out.
We had to get a plumber out yesterday as the pipes had been burping and gurgling over a 4 day period. Ken Gooding came around and 1 hour later had unblocked the outside drain on our property. I watched as he used some creepy crawley drain de-clogger that cleaned the shit away. Fascinating.
$220 though - So now we are broke.
Had cricket training on Wednesday. 27 people were there. I ran fielding drills all night. 80% of the players do NOT know how to catch let alone field. They 'crocodile snap'. Means their hands are opened longways not sideways as they should be. I can see broken fingers coming...
Jessica loves going to daycare 2 days a week. She calls it "Gool" (School).
Ava is a nightmare at times. Last night was pretty bad. I looked after her during the afternoon and she was an angel.
Jaiden got himself a job @ Traralgon working in Hungry Jacks (Aussie Burger King). Good.
Paige is heading in the right direction as a person.
Sarah is still Sarah. A little out of it at most times. Just lost in her own little world.
I still cannot smell or taste anything. Been like this for 2 weeks now. Sucks.
I'll eventually get myself to a medic. Maybe ?
Got food poisoning on Sunday night. Me and Ang went out for a nice Buffet meal at a local club. On the Monday we were both poleaxed with FP. I have never suffered this shit - nor do I ever want to again.
Apart from that just the usual stuff happening day in - day out.
We had to get a plumber out yesterday as the pipes had been burping and gurgling over a 4 day period. Ken Gooding came around and 1 hour later had unblocked the outside drain on our property. I watched as he used some creepy crawley drain de-clogger that cleaned the shit away. Fascinating.
$220 though - So now we are broke.
Had cricket training on Wednesday. 27 people were there. I ran fielding drills all night. 80% of the players do NOT know how to catch let alone field. They 'crocodile snap'. Means their hands are opened longways not sideways as they should be. I can see broken fingers coming...
Jessica loves going to daycare 2 days a week. She calls it "Gool" (School).
Ava is a nightmare at times. Last night was pretty bad. I looked after her during the afternoon and she was an angel.
Jaiden got himself a job @ Traralgon working in Hungry Jacks (Aussie Burger King). Good.
Paige is heading in the right direction as a person.
Sarah is still Sarah. A little out of it at most times. Just lost in her own little world.
I still cannot smell or taste anything. Been like this for 2 weeks now. Sucks.
I'll eventually get myself to a medic. Maybe ?
Friday, August 28
Thursday, August 27
Wednesday, August 26
Big Bet
After getting the all clear from the hospital on Saturday allowing us to bring Ava home I sauntered off to the local TAB (TopPub) to unwind. Took the 3 gorillas ($300) out of the garage - bad idea that one.
Anyway after a few placings and losses I had about $200 left and decided to plunge it on a horse called Secret Flyer. Put $150 for the WIN. Had to come first for me to colect any money otherwise I would have been fucked. Below is the link to the race...
http://www.horseracing.bigpond.com/asx/windowsmedia.aspx?TagID=AR884371033214651622
Suffice to say I was quite relieved when it flashed home to grab the win on the line.
Stupid stupid Daddy.
Won't be doing that again anytime soon.
Anyway after a few placings and losses I had about $200 left and decided to plunge it on a horse called Secret Flyer. Put $150 for the WIN. Had to come first for me to colect any money otherwise I would have been fucked. Below is the link to the race...
http://www.horseracing.bigpond.com/asx/windowsmedia.aspx?TagID=AR884371033214651622
Suffice to say I was quite relieved when it flashed home to grab the win on the line.
Stupid stupid Daddy.
Won't be doing that again anytime soon.
34 days of Mood
Here is my chart of BEN MOOD.
As you can see I was quite Manic over the first 7 days or so.
Had a few bad days after the high.
And have now started to level out.
I enjoy doing this thoroughly...
Saturday, August 22
Whats taters precious ?
Always loved this dialogue between Samwise / Smeagol from the LOTR : Two Towers
Scare
Had to leave work @ 9pm last night as got a call from home - Ava had stopped breathing !
When I arrived she was OK but Ang told me that she turned blue around the mouth/cheeks 3 times. We took her straight to LRH (Hospital) and went straight in to emergency. After about a 2 hour wait we finally saw a paedetrician who diagnosed 'mild bronchitis'. Very touch and go in young babies as they can go downhill very very quickly.
Ang stayed overnight with Ava in the emergency department for observation.
Poor little bub.
When I arrived she was OK but Ang told me that she turned blue around the mouth/cheeks 3 times. We took her straight to LRH (Hospital) and went straight in to emergency. After about a 2 hour wait we finally saw a paedetrician who diagnosed 'mild bronchitis'. Very touch and go in young babies as they can go downhill very very quickly.
Ang stayed overnight with Ava in the emergency department for observation.
Poor little bub.
Friday, August 21
Food goes in here
Busy.
Work last week was hectic. Did 6 hours last Friday (6PM-12AM) and then 6.5 hours on Saturday (5.30-12AM). Nearly got killed on Saturday night. Some idiot screamed through a roundabout without giving way to me. Dickhead. I broke my record for most Kms travelled in a night. Clocked up 180kms (110 miles). Mainly due to 8 out of town deliveries. My stupid car (Camira) was playing up to boot which meant each time I hopped in to go out - I had to pop the hood and start the car by using a adjustable spanner to arc the starter motor. Luckily I know how to do it. I also had a race with Graeme on a delivery to the APM (Paper Mill - 10 kms out of town). He took a delivery to the main gate and I had a delivery to the back gate. We left at the same time and he was beating me for the whole journey until he took a shortcut and got stuck at the lights. I waved and sailed straight on by him. It's things like this that make the Pizza job enjoyable.
Went to the Sunday market where I bought a few scallywag items.
Took Jaiden/Jessica to baseball up at Sale (65kms away). C Grade was cancelled and so he sat on the bench in the A Grade. He came into the game in the 5th inning and immediately had an impact grabbing a pop-up fly and then throwing someone out at 1st base. He then had an at bat where he singled down the 3rd base line and beat the tag at 1st base. He was then tagged out when he doubled off 3rd (on a pop-up fly to centre). He missed a low catch in the next inning. They lost but he was easily in the bext 3 players for the day - the rest of the A Grade suck donkey balls. They have the Bye this weekend and then have 1-2 games left for the year. Hopefully they ask him to play A Grade again. Playing against better opponents brings out the best in your game.
I took Jessica away to Wycheproof on Monday - Tuesday. 11 hour drive there and back. We had a good time. Pop loves seeing Jess. And Jessica adores Pop. I slept in the loungeroom as the fire was banked halfway up the chimney. Jessica pushed me off the couch at 2am so I slept on the floor thereafter. Good journey...
Since getting back I have been sick (cold) and my sleeping patterns are all out of whack. I got up at 3am this morning so it does not bode well for working till 12AM tonight. Hopefully I get an afternoon sleep and will be OK for the night.
Until next time..
Work last week was hectic. Did 6 hours last Friday (6PM-12AM) and then 6.5 hours on Saturday (5.30-12AM). Nearly got killed on Saturday night. Some idiot screamed through a roundabout without giving way to me. Dickhead. I broke my record for most Kms travelled in a night. Clocked up 180kms (110 miles). Mainly due to 8 out of town deliveries. My stupid car (Camira) was playing up to boot which meant each time I hopped in to go out - I had to pop the hood and start the car by using a adjustable spanner to arc the starter motor. Luckily I know how to do it. I also had a race with Graeme on a delivery to the APM (Paper Mill - 10 kms out of town). He took a delivery to the main gate and I had a delivery to the back gate. We left at the same time and he was beating me for the whole journey until he took a shortcut and got stuck at the lights. I waved and sailed straight on by him. It's things like this that make the Pizza job enjoyable.
Went to the Sunday market where I bought a few scallywag items.
Took Jaiden/Jessica to baseball up at Sale (65kms away). C Grade was cancelled and so he sat on the bench in the A Grade. He came into the game in the 5th inning and immediately had an impact grabbing a pop-up fly and then throwing someone out at 1st base. He then had an at bat where he singled down the 3rd base line and beat the tag at 1st base. He was then tagged out when he doubled off 3rd (on a pop-up fly to centre). He missed a low catch in the next inning. They lost but he was easily in the bext 3 players for the day - the rest of the A Grade suck donkey balls. They have the Bye this weekend and then have 1-2 games left for the year. Hopefully they ask him to play A Grade again. Playing against better opponents brings out the best in your game.
I took Jessica away to Wycheproof on Monday - Tuesday. 11 hour drive there and back. We had a good time. Pop loves seeing Jess. And Jessica adores Pop. I slept in the loungeroom as the fire was banked halfway up the chimney. Jessica pushed me off the couch at 2am so I slept on the floor thereafter. Good journey...
Since getting back I have been sick (cold) and my sleeping patterns are all out of whack. I got up at 3am this morning so it does not bode well for working till 12AM tonight. Hopefully I get an afternoon sleep and will be OK for the night.
Until next time..
Monday, August 10
Weekend Bullshit
What a disastrous way to round out the weekend !
Saturday up at St.Gwinear was an awesome day. Truly a great day. Except for Paige/Sarah in the backseat bickering/arguing/singing stupid songs for the way up and the return trip home. Jessica slept the whole way up there until I had to fight to put on snow chains 5 km from the summit. In the end I got the left front one on and gave up on the other. It was only dangerous when I was parking the car but that was my own stupid fault as I had the handbrake on whilst I was reversing into a park and the car did slide slightly sideways for a a metre or so. Stupid daddy !
Jessica was amazed by the snow. She kept eating it. She went down 5-6 times on the toboggan runs with Paige/Jaiden and Myself. After 90 minutes she had enough and started saying "Car ! Car". Jaiden was bored silly in the end and Sarah was busy making a snowball to bring home. Paige lost a glove, forgot the sled when we started walking back to the car - had to go back and get it. I took the remaining chain off the front wheel 1km from the summit. It sounded as though it was chewing it's way into the engine bay anyway. There was snow only 5-6km down from the summit. It snowed like a mutha on the Friday (10cm) and then snow was dry and fluffy. At the carpark it was slushy and had some ice. I had driven in snow before (USA 2005 trip over Winter) so knew what to expect.
A lot easier than downing a full bottle of Jim Beam and needing more wood for a fire - jump in my ex's car whilst she was passed out on the couch, drove the 2km to Acme Supermarket and returning back to the apartment complex - only to slide into a snow drift embankment. Whoops! The roads in Pennsylvania are a lot more treacherous. And thats with the roads being salted !! Did a lot of driving over there on my second trip - and I DIDNT even have my car licence back then. Only had a Victorian Learners Permit (L Plates). I've only had my full car licence since mid 2006. Got my first car (Rusty 1987 JE Camira) 1 month beforehand. She did serve me well though... I've had my motorbike licence since 1995 however. Only ever needed a car since being in a relationship with Angela. Pretty hard to cart young kids around on the back of a crotch rocket. Meh..
I worked from 6PM till Midnight on Saturday night. No problems there. Only people NOT to snob me were Graeme and Dean. The rest can go get fucked !! Cockheads. I only worked because I wanted some kitty in my skyrocket for Sunday-Monday. Funny though... I have nothing today ! Ang went to bingo last night ($27) and that was the end of the green. I do have a "Gorilla in the Garage" ($100 note hidden away in the shed). I call the Australian $100 note a gorilla. Here's why..
Here's the Australian $50 note... I Call it a "Pineapple" (hehe)
So onto my "disastrous" weekend part. I got back from dropping Jaiden off at baseball and decided to put the set top box (for receiving digital TV) from our bedroom into the lounge room. 2 hours later - and still none the wiser it went back into our bedroom. I know that I fucken plugged the mutha in correctly - it was just that the signal strength was nowhere near the needed 75% to pick up the Digital TV signal. And that was with the Digital Antenna. Fuckn Hell !
It went straight back and was plugged in and tuned in 5 minutes in the bedroom.
That was the start of my black mood (look for an updated mood chart over the next 14 days).
I have been sick for the last 4-6 weeks. On again off again Ear-Nose-Throat infections. Just cant shake it. I went to docs on Friday but forgot to ask for some antibiotics to kick this sickness in the arse. I have been unable to smell/taste anything for 36 out of the last 42 days !! I shit you not..
Once Ang headed to Bingo (I threw a wobbly at the Dinner Table. I asked her to stay home for the night. I literally needed a hose/towel to extinguish the fire/smoke coming from her ears. She was that pissed off with me) I went down into our bedroom to settle the 2 little one's. Jessica fell asleep within 5 minutes. Ava on the other hand. For fucks sake. She went troppo !! I could do nothing to settle her for 90 minutes. I nearly lost it with her too. At one stage I had to put her back in the basinet as she was howling and I could nothing to placate her. No tummy time, no bottle, no burping - Nada. In the end I changed her bum and managed to settle her from 9.10PM. Ang got home at 9.30PM.
Somehow I just knew that the night was not going to go well - That's why I asked for her to stay home.
My mood dropped from a peaking 7.5 mid afternoon to a plummeting 4.0 by 6PM. Damn Set-Top-Box. It's your fault. My mood was low for about 5 hours. Nothing worse for me. And nothing worse for those around me (my family). One sentence basically sums it all up..
"If you come anywhere near me, talk to me or even look at me - I'm gonna rip your muthafuckin head off and shit down your neck"
Thanx Mum and Dad (for those great genetic genes) !!!
Until next time....
PS. My mood is currently around 6.5. So it's looking good for today.
Saturday up at St.Gwinear was an awesome day. Truly a great day. Except for Paige/Sarah in the backseat bickering/arguing/singing stupid songs for the way up and the return trip home. Jessica slept the whole way up there until I had to fight to put on snow chains 5 km from the summit. In the end I got the left front one on and gave up on the other. It was only dangerous when I was parking the car but that was my own stupid fault as I had the handbrake on whilst I was reversing into a park and the car did slide slightly sideways for a a metre or so. Stupid daddy !
Jessica was amazed by the snow. She kept eating it. She went down 5-6 times on the toboggan runs with Paige/Jaiden and Myself. After 90 minutes she had enough and started saying "Car ! Car". Jaiden was bored silly in the end and Sarah was busy making a snowball to bring home. Paige lost a glove, forgot the sled when we started walking back to the car - had to go back and get it. I took the remaining chain off the front wheel 1km from the summit. It sounded as though it was chewing it's way into the engine bay anyway. There was snow only 5-6km down from the summit. It snowed like a mutha on the Friday (10cm) and then snow was dry and fluffy. At the carpark it was slushy and had some ice. I had driven in snow before (USA 2005 trip over Winter) so knew what to expect.
A lot easier than downing a full bottle of Jim Beam and needing more wood for a fire - jump in my ex's car whilst she was passed out on the couch, drove the 2km to Acme Supermarket and returning back to the apartment complex - only to slide into a snow drift embankment. Whoops! The roads in Pennsylvania are a lot more treacherous. And thats with the roads being salted !! Did a lot of driving over there on my second trip - and I DIDNT even have my car licence back then. Only had a Victorian Learners Permit (L Plates). I've only had my full car licence since mid 2006. Got my first car (Rusty 1987 JE Camira) 1 month beforehand. She did serve me well though... I've had my motorbike licence since 1995 however. Only ever needed a car since being in a relationship with Angela. Pretty hard to cart young kids around on the back of a crotch rocket. Meh..
I worked from 6PM till Midnight on Saturday night. No problems there. Only people NOT to snob me were Graeme and Dean. The rest can go get fucked !! Cockheads. I only worked because I wanted some kitty in my skyrocket for Sunday-Monday. Funny though... I have nothing today ! Ang went to bingo last night ($27) and that was the end of the green. I do have a "Gorilla in the Garage" ($100 note hidden away in the shed). I call the Australian $100 note a gorilla. Here's why..
Here's the Australian $50 note... I Call it a "Pineapple" (hehe)
So onto my "disastrous" weekend part. I got back from dropping Jaiden off at baseball and decided to put the set top box (for receiving digital TV) from our bedroom into the lounge room. 2 hours later - and still none the wiser it went back into our bedroom. I know that I fucken plugged the mutha in correctly - it was just that the signal strength was nowhere near the needed 75% to pick up the Digital TV signal. And that was with the Digital Antenna. Fuckn Hell !
It went straight back and was plugged in and tuned in 5 minutes in the bedroom.
That was the start of my black mood (look for an updated mood chart over the next 14 days).
I have been sick for the last 4-6 weeks. On again off again Ear-Nose-Throat infections. Just cant shake it. I went to docs on Friday but forgot to ask for some antibiotics to kick this sickness in the arse. I have been unable to smell/taste anything for 36 out of the last 42 days !! I shit you not..
Once Ang headed to Bingo (I threw a wobbly at the Dinner Table. I asked her to stay home for the night. I literally needed a hose/towel to extinguish the fire/smoke coming from her ears. She was that pissed off with me) I went down into our bedroom to settle the 2 little one's. Jessica fell asleep within 5 minutes. Ava on the other hand. For fucks sake. She went troppo !! I could do nothing to settle her for 90 minutes. I nearly lost it with her too. At one stage I had to put her back in the basinet as she was howling and I could nothing to placate her. No tummy time, no bottle, no burping - Nada. In the end I changed her bum and managed to settle her from 9.10PM. Ang got home at 9.30PM.
Somehow I just knew that the night was not going to go well - That's why I asked for her to stay home.
My mood dropped from a peaking 7.5 mid afternoon to a plummeting 4.0 by 6PM. Damn Set-Top-Box. It's your fault. My mood was low for about 5 hours. Nothing worse for me. And nothing worse for those around me (my family). One sentence basically sums it all up..
"If you come anywhere near me, talk to me or even look at me - I'm gonna rip your muthafuckin head off and shit down your neck"
Thanx Mum and Dad (for those great genetic genes) !!!
Until next time....
PS. My mood is currently around 6.5. So it's looking good for today.
Saturday, August 8
Mt St.Gwinear Fun - 2009
Our family day (Minus Ang & Ava) at Mt St.Gwinear.
In this video Paige had found a huuuge snowball and I dared her to roll it down the hill into oncoming people walking back up the toboggan run. Jessica tried to chase after it and some dude halfway down the run dropped his sled and stopped it from knocking down some little kid.
Hilarious...
Thursday, August 6
My mood Chart (21.7.09>5.8.09)
I've always loved mathematics and making charts/graphs - bonus !!
Charting my mood (homework from my psychologist)
I whipped this up in 5 minutes on a pad (after trying to use Microsoft Word and nearly hurling computer into the wall)
Wednesday, August 5
Weekly update-ish
Can't remember what I last wrote (over a week ago)..
I quit working on Tuesday/Wednesday nights.
Was too much on Ang's shoulders at home. 2 kids under 2 years old. 4 girls under the age of 10. Paige is usually a tremendous help. Sarah is 80% of the time worse than Jessica. Jessica is not even 2 so she can't help being a turd at times. Ava is only 7 weeks old (as of yesterday) and usually is full of gas and gets very upset during the night. Can be hard to prioritize at times. In my books it goes from youngest to oldest. That's all that matters to me...
Work was also becoming a pain in the posterior. The bitches there cause so much grief/stress for the others. Only if they could shut their pie holes more often and NOT stick their fat noses into anything that happens. One slag in particular (Marissa). She is an awful human being. 5 people hate her guts. 1 worker left (last week) because of the shit she started. Graeme/Lyn/Myself will NOT work with her - and ignore her if we have to work with her. Dom cant stand her and is in the same boat as us. The sad thing is : The owners (Andy/Lisa) have planted their flag with Marissa. She therefore has carte blanch to do whatever the fuck she wants.
She must give the boss good head !!
Saw my psychologist yesterday.
Danny seems a good bloke. A bit narrow minded with diagnosing me after 2 visits (He thinks he knows that I have Asperger's Syndrome). And a bit narrow minded with not believing in any other medical profession diagnosis of ANY mental disorder (barring - Autism (ASD), Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks). I think next time I go (11th August) I will throw a curveball at him. Said curveball being "Hearing Voices". I dont suffer from this anymore (3 months now) but I want to see what he says about it. And the other sz symptoms I used to suffer from.. Will be funny to see him dance his way around the subject. Apart from having "mental blinkers" on - He is an excellent doctor. Certainly talks a lot. And he wants to videotape my sessions.
He even said to me "When are you going to become a psychologist?"
Yeah.. I could do it quite easily. Just time is the issue. Maybe in a few years I might choose that path. The world is certainly my oyster. If I don't know it - I want to. Ah well, the new Ben has its benefits and positives. Along with some negatives. Cant all be (+) ... (-) are there to keep me balanced.
Home Life.
Took Sarah to see Dr. Ham (No, he's not a proctologist) the Child Paediatrician yesterday. We are very concerned her. She is sliding faster than a Cole Hamel's splitter into the dirt. Her school doesnt seem interested in helping her. Nor does her father/his wife. I guess "head-buried-in-sand" is common with them. Need to watch that South Park episode. "We need more shovels!!" was the catchcry if I remember correctly. Me and Ang will do everything in our powers to help Sarah. She is important to the family dynamic. The middle path springs to mind again.
Paige seems a bit emotional of late. Guess that is her maturing. Can be very uncertain. Being a male it was all "fuck this, fuck that" "She's got a hot ass, nice tits" etc etc. I cannot comprehend what it is like for girls. Nor do I want to.
Jaiden is locked in his "Fortress of Solitude". That is his room. We moved his computer/internet connection in there. We only see him in the morning (getting ready for school) or at dinnertime. He is in a worse "bubble" than Sarah I reckon. All tied in with never seeing/knowing his father. He said this at the dinner table a few nights back which made me laugh..
"Red Rooster chips are for the win" - Some teenage lingo that means theyre awesome fries.
My 2 girls are OK. Jessica seems to be really advancing intelligence wise. Her mood/emotions are becoming more apparent as well. She is a button pusher. I have an excellent relationship with her. I nurture the positives and stomp out the negatives. All good.
Ava is only 7 weeks old. I have been spending more time with her over the last week or so. Ang took her to see the obstetrecian (6 week check-up) yesterday. Thumbs up there. We were concerned for her stomach/bowels/plumbing. But just usual baby stuff that she will grow out of. Still is in the foetal position at times. I gave her a back massage on Sunday and she certainly seemed to loosen up (Let out 5-6 massive bum toots).
Apart from all this happening (Yes - I have no life) Me and Ang continue along Marriage Highway heading towards the Parenthood City Limits of a city called Life...
Wednesday, July 29
Monday, July 27
Feel like shit
Gday folk'l'dokl's
Been feeling like shite over last 5-6 days. Little ones are sick too. Ang is sick. Paige is coming down with something as well.
I have a ear, nose and throat infection. Sucks arse. I get at least 2 doses of this every Winter. Have suffered from this illness since I was in High School. Watching Ava / Jess suffer the same thing is painful. Need medication - Stat !
I sorted out Vanessa last Monday. All settled there - done and dusted for now.
Saw a new psychologist on Tuesday. He did nothing but talk and talk. Seemed pretty genuine and I have been doing my homework since. Basically just recording my mood each day and some of the things that happen. Has been higher than 7 since. Even feeling like a green snot tissue as well.
Work is Ok. Got busted stealing drinks for customers on Friday night by the Big Bossman. He started to go psycho but I diffused the situation be telling him the truth. Huh ? You ask. Yeah told him I would continue to take drinks out to customers who are good people NOT only good tippers. These drinks will have to come out of my pocket thereafter. Oh well. Im a feather ruffler at work - will continue to do so. Worked till 12AM Friday and Saturday nights (13 hours).
The girls went to the inlaws over the weekend. We were going to head up to Pops but everyone being sick has delayed that. Robin/Sandra bought the girls home Sunday and we had a nice BBQ lunch. I invited Graeme around to keep me company for a few hours.
Rob was down Friday - Sunday to see Jaiden. Didnt see the boys much. Just sat in his room playing Xbox360 or on the computer.
The biggest news (for me anyway) is that I bought a motorbike !!!
A Yamaha XT 250 road/trail. Needs a bit of work. But now I have a project and something to get me into the shed for a few hours (days?). Only set us back $500 so I won't lose any money on the purchase if I decide to sell it.
busy busy busy... Welcome to parenthood.
Been feeling like shite over last 5-6 days. Little ones are sick too. Ang is sick. Paige is coming down with something as well.
I have a ear, nose and throat infection. Sucks arse. I get at least 2 doses of this every Winter. Have suffered from this illness since I was in High School. Watching Ava / Jess suffer the same thing is painful. Need medication - Stat !
I sorted out Vanessa last Monday. All settled there - done and dusted for now.
Saw a new psychologist on Tuesday. He did nothing but talk and talk. Seemed pretty genuine and I have been doing my homework since. Basically just recording my mood each day and some of the things that happen. Has been higher than 7 since. Even feeling like a green snot tissue as well.
Work is Ok. Got busted stealing drinks for customers on Friday night by the Big Bossman. He started to go psycho but I diffused the situation be telling him the truth. Huh ? You ask. Yeah told him I would continue to take drinks out to customers who are good people NOT only good tippers. These drinks will have to come out of my pocket thereafter. Oh well. Im a feather ruffler at work - will continue to do so. Worked till 12AM Friday and Saturday nights (13 hours).
The girls went to the inlaws over the weekend. We were going to head up to Pops but everyone being sick has delayed that. Robin/Sandra bought the girls home Sunday and we had a nice BBQ lunch. I invited Graeme around to keep me company for a few hours.
Rob was down Friday - Sunday to see Jaiden. Didnt see the boys much. Just sat in his room playing Xbox360 or on the computer.
The biggest news (for me anyway) is that I bought a motorbike !!!
A Yamaha XT 250 road/trail. Needs a bit of work. But now I have a project and something to get me into the shed for a few hours (days?). Only set us back $500 so I won't lose any money on the purchase if I decide to sell it.
busy busy busy... Welcome to parenthood.
Sunday, July 19
Uh oh
Jesus.
This bitch Vanessa. Angela's ex husbands wife. She's starting all sorts of problems with Paige and Sarah and our house.
It's high time "I got my EVIL" on her ass.
Paul came and picked up the girls yesterday morning. On pickup I invited him in for a 'friendly' chat to discuss some major wrong doings on their behalf when the girls are up at Drouin. These are some things that happen..
(*) Paul/Vanessa play a Sims game.
There is a character on the game called Ben. He wears the same coat as I wear and is evil. Fact. Apparently this Ben character ordered a pizza and upon delivery of the pizza Ben then beat the pizza man into a bloody pulp. Paul and Vanessa then laugh and carry on WITH the girls present sitting next to them. Paige tells me that she walks away (she's very mature for her age) BUT Sarah.. She then plays the game. They probably dig for information if I beat them, touch them, etc etc.
Yeah I dish out discipline when its necessary. I've smacked Sarah a few time with the wooden spoon in the past (5-6 times). Last week I only had to brandish the wooden spoon to correct her wrong behaviour. She cried when seeing the wooden spoon, really cried because she knew she was in the wrong and was going to be punished for her errors. I saw her really crying so I put the wooden spoon back in the draw. Job done.
(*)Saying to the girls that they hate Angela.
Angela started the ball rolling when she dobbed Paul in for defrauding workcover a few months back. He hurt his back whilst working last year (truck jockey or delivery driver) and then claimed workcover. A few weeks before this happened Vanessa left her job at Harvey Norman (Yes they both used to work at the same company). They told us she would be getting better money elsewhere. We found out that she lost her job in fact for being caught with her hand in the till (Stealing money). They tell us otherwise..Anyway, Paul claimed "ouch my back, gimme money" and he was on it.
To be conitinued at a later date....It angries up my blood too much (gonna go watch Eddie Murphy - Delirious)
This bitch Vanessa. Angela's ex husbands wife. She's starting all sorts of problems with Paige and Sarah and our house.
It's high time "I got my EVIL" on her ass.
Paul came and picked up the girls yesterday morning. On pickup I invited him in for a 'friendly' chat to discuss some major wrong doings on their behalf when the girls are up at Drouin. These are some things that happen..
(*) Paul/Vanessa play a Sims game.
There is a character on the game called Ben. He wears the same coat as I wear and is evil. Fact. Apparently this Ben character ordered a pizza and upon delivery of the pizza Ben then beat the pizza man into a bloody pulp. Paul and Vanessa then laugh and carry on WITH the girls present sitting next to them. Paige tells me that she walks away (she's very mature for her age) BUT Sarah.. She then plays the game. They probably dig for information if I beat them, touch them, etc etc.
Yeah I dish out discipline when its necessary. I've smacked Sarah a few time with the wooden spoon in the past (5-6 times). Last week I only had to brandish the wooden spoon to correct her wrong behaviour. She cried when seeing the wooden spoon, really cried because she knew she was in the wrong and was going to be punished for her errors. I saw her really crying so I put the wooden spoon back in the draw. Job done.
(*)Saying to the girls that they hate Angela.
Angela started the ball rolling when she dobbed Paul in for defrauding workcover a few months back. He hurt his back whilst working last year (truck jockey or delivery driver) and then claimed workcover. A few weeks before this happened Vanessa left her job at Harvey Norman (Yes they both used to work at the same company). They told us she would be getting better money elsewhere. We found out that she lost her job in fact for being caught with her hand in the till (Stealing money). They tell us otherwise..Anyway, Paul claimed "ouch my back, gimme money" and he was on it.
To be conitinued at a later date....It angries up my blood too much (gonna go watch Eddie Murphy - Delirious)
Thursday, July 16
Ravel - Bolero (from Aleggro non troppo)
Basically the italian version of Fantasia. I prefer this one too...
Youtube for more vids. Watched this over 20 years ago...
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