Been in a bit of a rut now for the last week.
Sorta snapped out of it late yesterday - how much it has to do with seeing my psychologist is an unknown. I always feel better after a session. Yesterday Ang came down with me which was a boost. It was weird in a way but also very encouraging. Shows me how much she cares about my well being. Danny went fishing a little bit (to see if I lie about anything) but Ang just told him the truth. Which I do anyway.
Apart from that - I have been trying to figure out what puts me in foul moods. Little things always set me off but there is always something major that is the underlining factor. I think this 'episode' was brought on by my ex's phone call over 3 weeks ago and it has been slowly building to a precipice. Byron wants contact with me. Good and a bad thing.
In the end I'll do whats best for him YET always put my immediate family first. Always.
So its a bit of a prickly pear. Damned if I do and damned if I don't. I sent Byron some photos of his half-sisters and one of me and him together when he came down here in January 2008.
I am still looking for another job. A few days a week would suit us to a tee. During the day as well. Don't care what it is - as long as it puts a few more $$$ into the household. The Baby Bonus ($5000 over 6 month period) runs out mid December. So that is the end date in which I need another job.
Jessica has really come along in leaps and bounds over the last month or so. She throws constant temper tantrums yet is an intelligent little bugger. She absolutely craves learning new things. Always asking to go the school (nearly every day). I took her at 6:45AM yesterday as she was sorta doing my head in. The workers there adore her and I think she gets along well with the other kids. She was bitten last week - but she basically shrugged it all off (the workers thought it was very funny how she looked at the bite, then the kid and didnt even cry).
I woke up this morning to Ang yelling at Jessica and Paige. Jess did a shit on the carpet as she wasn't wearing a nappy. Paige is a little manic at the moment and did not help the situation. Jessica is a real handful in the morning. Very hard when you are doing it all by yourself (be it either myself or Angela).
Until next time...